Times have been troubled at Trigger Warning ever since Brian Blessed usurped Peter Sutcliffe as a living saint. It is with joy unrivalled that news recently reached us which sees him reclaiming his rightful place upon the throne of the mighty. It is with some inevitability that a young lady has fallen madly in love … Read moreThe Rise, Fall and Rise of Saint Peter
If you were to end it all today, which we aren’t suggesting but just to cover the eventuality, would you consider putting your head in the oven? Perhaps one of the more overlooked of the casualties suffered by the advances made in modern times, the idea of gassing yourself in the household oven – and … Read moreGases to Ashes – The Loss of an Institution
In an unprecedentedly bold move, actor, climber and shouter, Brian Blessed, has mounted a successful coup to succeed Peter Sutcliffe as Trigger Warning’s patron saint. Brian was attending the annual dinner, which closes the prestigious two day pig and poultry farmers event, at the Coombe Abbey Hotel in Coventry. Dressed appropriately, as a Tudor king, … Read moreBrian Blessed Tells Entire Farmers’ Conference They’re “Cunts”
Who better to cast their eye on the coming year(s) than Trigger Warning’s resident dead medium, Doris Stokes? With her unique and racist view of world events from her perch at God’s side, Doris looks to the future and puts the kettle on. The Middle East Ooh, it’s a right palaver, isn’t it, love? I … Read moreDoris Stokes Looks At 2018 So You Don’t Have To
The recent excitement of over Donald Trump’s sharing of Britain First imagery promoted a mild curiosity into what Britain First’s party policies actually consisted of. They couldn’t just revolve around nasty foreigners, could they? Could an entire manifesto just be line after line of prolapsing anger at THEM? Actually, no – it also factors in … Read moreDifference of Opinion There, Geoff – The Spiralling Vortex of Party Policies
We’re unclear what the difference is between a pantomime and the nativity, so have gone with our gut feeling as to what we assume happens. Cast is subject to change, especially if there’s a death. Joseph O’Nazareth – Gerry Adams stars as cuckolded husband of Mary. Lines spoken from stage left by Joe Pasquale Mary … Read moreTrigger Warning’s “Nastivity” Plans Leaked
Unless it’s to throw us off the scent, we aren’t entirely sure why the newswires were allowed to broadcast where Moor’s Murderer and notorious malingerer, Ian Brady’s ashes were cast. Trigger Warning is proud to announce its first competition: the first person to retrieve Ian Brady’s ashes from Liverpool Marina will receive the cash … Read moreAngler’s Ashes – The Quest Begins!
We are pleased to welcome the newest recruit to the Trigger Warning team – legendary spiritualist and medium, Doris Stokes, everyone’s favourite cuddly pathological liar and shit-stirrer. Those keeping a keen eye on the news will know Doris passed away in 1987 but such trivialities do not concern us here. Having asked the old woman … Read moreDoris Stokes Presents…Despotify!
Punk, perhaps the least effective movement in popular culture yet recorded, came and went very quickly, indeed, it only ever popped up in small pockets nationally. Goths, bless ’em, had a music scene which, politely, never got in the way of anything else and didn’t speak – always a positive trait. Hipsters – no music … Read moreHipster be Square