I know it's probably trite and predictable to have a poke at the mainstream media and the cult of celebrity but for some reason I've been getting even more testy than usual. I've never subscribed to the whole "How can you worry about X when Y is happening" argument because...well...it's stupid. But I do object to having all this celebrity crap thrust upon me and the worst part is that it's not entirely the media's fault. After all, they mostly feed us only that which we're only too willing to eat.

Look at recently, some rap person called Jayz got a slap from his sister in law. Awesome! Some woman slapped a man, that's got to be worth at least 1,000,000 column inches in print and online. I mean, it's outrageous that some people could possibly have an argument which results in a bloke getting a slap across the chops. "Ahhh" I hear you say in between glimpses at 'HELLO' magazine "this isn't just anybody, this is JayZ!". Right then, I get it now. Some bloke who talks quickly got slapped by his sister in law...WHY DOES ANYONE CARE?

Apparently this amazingly famous person, popular for talking over a drumbeat, was slapped by someone for something. The world cared A LOT. Chances are down the road someone who wasn't a rapper beat their wife to death but nobody cares. This is your brain on celebrity.
Apparently this amazingly famous person, popular for talking over a drumbeat, was slapped by someone for something. The world cared A LOT. Chances are down the road someone who wasn't a rapper beat their wife to death but nobody cares. This is your brain on celebrity.

I get the cult of personality, I get that people feel as if they should own a piece of those they perceive to be their 'idols' or 'betters'. Hell, even I have my heroes but I can honestly say if Bruce Dickinson or George A Romero was to be slapped by their sister in law I wouldn't be able to even fake enthusiasm to read about it.

This whole culture is absurd and unhealthy. I did say there's no reason for the 'one thing is more important than another therefore you shouldn't bother' argument and the whole reporting on what quality of bowel movement your favourite personality had this morning would be fine, absolutely fine, but I would expect you to also know some actual news too. Nothing major, maybe just how we're the world sixth largest economy but we still have people starving in our nation, you know something like that.

Instead if I were to stop someone on the street they would know all

Here is one of the nasty, parasitic, dregs of society who pushed this horrific "celebrity" obsessed culture on us. Shame on him and all that.
Here is one of the nasty, parasitic, dregs of society who pushed this horrific "celebrity" obsessed culture on us. Shame on him and all that.

about this rap person and doubtless know the ins and outs of a cat's arse about whatever completely non-entity won Britains Got Morons this year but wouldn't know we've given out more than 1 million food parcels to our own citizens. I'm sorry, but this smacks not only of willful ignorance but also our disgusting media always finding the lowest point, the lowest common denominator, in their search for profit at all costs.

All those alternative media types bang on about how people should wake up and although they're mired in their own world of abject fear and hypocrisy they kind of have a point. The difference is I think that if you want to know utterly pointless crap about your favourite film star then fill your boots but at the very least please be even a little aware of the things they're hiding from you back on page 21 in small print because that's probably what you need to know.

Sorry, rant over. Grumpy old man mode disengaged...for now.

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Hayden is the founder of Trigger Warning so it’s all his fault.

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