Human Champions – Part 1

The first in perhaps a staggeringly short series of reminiscences of human beings who have entertained through adversity or appalled through misguided entertainment. We hail these people as giants, those of such heroic idiocy that neither time nor tide has withered the disdain we hold for them. First up, a reminder of The Natural Law Party, who, it’s worth remembering, weren’t some crackpot outfit who popped up in a backwoods hamlet in the boggiest reaches of America, but a UK movement birthed in 1992.

Let’s not hang about, here are the main points from their manifesto of that year:

  1. The development of each individual’s consciousness through the Transcendental Meditation and TM-Sidhi programme
  2. Reduce health care costs by training the citizens in personal health assessment via self-pulse reading, an aspect of the Maharishi Vedic Approach to Health.
  3. Maintaining the collective health of the country by creating groups of experts in the TM-Sidhi programme’s Yogic Flying technique.
  4. Bringing the individual and the country into tune with Natural Law so that unfavourable planetary influences are neutralised.
  5. Assuring that the country’s work and home environments support health, and happiness

Their position on taxation is unclear, though presumably their Brexit plans would have allowed for free entry to all cross-legged hoppers regardless of nationality. Party leader, Geoffrey Clements, a bemused-looking man fond of beige, also fought valiantly to live up to their promise of halving all diseases within three years and changing planning laws so that southern entrances to buildings were kept to a minimum as they ‘drained positive energy’

Of course, the real joy of the Natural Law Party was the yogic flying, an expression of the ‘bubbling bliss’ experienced by the knowing few. Though no doubt flattered, invitations by the Maharishi to the surviving Beatles to stand as candidates were politely declined…even by George. They stood for only two elections, losing terrifically in all aspects of their campaigns, not even sympathy or comedic voting bothering the polls. Geoffrey now has a consultancy career, the made-up career refuge of many a failure. America had their own version of Geoffrey – I can’t decide which I prefer:


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