Peter Sutcliffe signs a DNR…


Serial killer and hammer enthusiast Peter “The Yorkshire Ripper” Sutcliffe has surprised the medical world by signing a Do Not Resuscitate form in light of the raging Covid 19 pandemic believing he wouldn’t survive a bout with the deadly virus. Sutcliffe generally complains almost constantly particularly about his birthdays being less enjoyable since being moved to Frankland prison from the relatively cushy Broadmoor home for the criminally mental but the Covids have given him the willies.

When asked as to why the lorry driving murder fan chose to sign the DNR a A source said: “Sutcliffe feared injuries like cracked ribs if he was gravely ill, and did not want to be brought back as an ill man.” A reasonable concern given that Peter is currently in tip top physical and mental condition apart from his being overweight, having diabetes, having a dodgy ticker, being mostly blind, and using a wheelchair. Oh, and being as mad as a bag of cats.

We can only assume his decision came as something of a surprise to the medical teams looking after the prison as they most likely had no intention of resurrecting the beast of Leeds anyway. Happy trails, Pete!


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