Apart from last week when I cried off due to some kind of man flu related disease which could only be likened in severity to Ebola mixed in with triple pneumonia and a side order of some alien disease hitherto unknown to man it has seemed every time I've sat down to do a podcast somebody around here gets DIY fever. Seriously, the second I hit record some complete bastard decides it's time to pretend to be Buddy Rich only instead of a drum kit it's a hammer and a random wooden object around the house.

I realise some people like to spend their Sundays doing manual labour, I don't understand it but I do realise it. I also know that once the hammering, sawing, and general slamming together of inanimate objects is done these people look outside. If it's sunny they fire up the lawnmower just to show what good people they really are. No matter the size of the garden this takes hours especially if they have a petrol powered mower. All the time they don't realise us decent human beings want to read a book in peace or perhaps make a podcast of no importance whatsoever.

If you're the sort of person that thinks Sundays were invented to be a miserable nuisance to your neighbours I hope your thumb winds up looking like a freshly trampled slug because you took your eye off the nail to weigh up whether you should do some gardening or not. You complete and utter bastard! If there's no podcast until later in the week don't blame me, nip over to your local hardware store and blame anybody you see browsing the shelves.

Right then, I need my headphones, my kindle and a brew...STAT!

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Hayden is the founder of Trigger Warning so it’s all his fault.

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