We're unclear what the difference is between a pantomime and the nativity, so have gone with our gut feeling as to what we assume happens.
Cast is subject to change, especially if there's a death.
Joseph O'Nazareth - Gerry Adams stars as cuckolded husband of Mary. Lines spoken from stage left by Joe Pasquale
Mary the Slattern - Legs akimbo Gloria Hunniford returns as God-impregnated floozy.
Jesus O' Nazareth - Harv Price makes his debut as the King of the Jews. You simply don't know what he's going to say next!
Les Bollah - Fundmentalist Roister Doister, Les, (BBC News' Huw Edwards) sets wacky traps throughout but despite his pranks, he has a heart of gold.
King Herod, Mass Murderer - A tour de force from wheelchair celebrity, Ade Adepitan
Buttons - It's a laugh a minute (approx) from comedy titan, Phil Cool
The Dame - "He's behind you! He's behind you!" We are proud to welcome back Peter Sutcliffe as the hammer-happy truck-driving staple
The Fairy Princess - Behold the unconventional beauty of Huang Chuncai. Something for the LGBTQ dads/mums/undecideds in the audience!
May contain nudity, mild swearing and hammers.